that was recognised in the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records was the longest ever written. I am simply explaining why I, personally, refuse to swim, go to the beach, sunbathe, leave the house, etc. WE have been having very profound thoughts lately. I bet it does. A complete and total degregation of our societies values. I'm fairly certain she knows it's not alive, though. YeahI knowpathetic. Not that the aformentioned individual claims to have received hate mail (or mail of any kind) via a website link. Pretty cool, huh? Wellthey are. My calculator is nifty. Am I enjoying asking retorical questions? Say it. It's more like techno talk about arrays and how much I suck and whether or not the Braves will win this year. Introduction In the business world, communication by e-mail is indispensable. You might be asked a question about them on a quiz show. *yet another highly dramatic, time-consuming sigh* I need a topic. MOOOO! So, I've decided that Moose works for some secret government organization, and that the feather is the key to the destruction of the world, and I am just blithely letting it enter our home, so that it may furthur its evil plans to destroy the universe. Confusing, huh? And why do I even care? Obviously I at least have a computerso, back to the organ grinders. It was pretty good. The basic moral belief that Polar bears should be WHITE. We have ZIM, neopets, music, and much, much, more. Seeyahmmm..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computerI'm back. The notag. Even though my schedule is technically supposed to be completly differnt. And I feel that it's time for a FAKE commercial break, for the highly informed, obviously brain-dead consumer. Plus, the fire gradually gets louder, and hotter, and smokier. Spooky how accurate they areanyway, I command you to go! For the benefit of you, the readerwho may or may not exist. May your day be shiney! Aren't I special? "Traditionally, the longest sentence in English Literature has been said to be a sentence in Ullyses by James Joyce, which clocks in at 4,391 words. Every fantasy the human mind has concieved exist at some place in the universe. I know, I'll start of list of why it's fun/good to be insane/weird! (it's edited, of course, to stay PG13**** signifies a random naugty word:)) "HEY, DOG ENTITY! OkayI'm back. After all, no one would really care if I quit updating this site. You see, I periodically read the longest text ever to check the constant downward spiral of my sanity. On the way home, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother predicatably decided that we had to go back and eat at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ice cream place. In some far off world, there are pokemonthere are an evil race of muffin like creatures, there is a world with ABSOLUTLY NO COMMERCIALS DURING TELEVISION! I can't believe I'm bothering to do this. Not only does Faulkners deep affiliation with his characters inner lives elevate his portraits far above the level of local color or regionalist curiosity, but it animates his sentences, makes them constantly move and breathe. Subscribe!function(m,a,i,l,s,t,e,r){m[s]=m[s]||(function(){t=a.createElement(i);r=a.getElementsByTagName(i)[0];t.async=1;t.src=l;r.parentNode.insertBefore(t,r);return !0}())}(window,document,'script','https://www.openculture.com/wp-content/plugins/mailster/assets/js/button.min.js','MailsterSubscribe'); 2006-2023 Open Culture, LLC. I have heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people to remember where they stopped reading. Because that would be impossible. Oooo..I'm a poet, and don't I know it? A man has been recorded spending more than three hours to pronounce what is supposedly the longest word in the English language . I was contemplating how my heavy load of books made me like a bulldozer and than I was about to suggest to my friend, "Meg" that we invent one. All of Faulkners modernist contemporaries, including of course Joyce, Wolff, and Beckett, mastered the use of run-ons, to different effect. I don't think. That sounds good, too. Like my EVIL school computer deleting my updates page. In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemenif you implement my idea, there will be peace and prosperity for all. And any weirdness I could come up with would be normal compared to Noodle Boy, soI bid thee farewellseeya! It's amazing, it's incredible, it's unbelievable. If you can still think during all that incessent beeping, you'll probably find evidence that I'm really paranoid. *scrunches eyes and makes funny sounds* Nope. It's been pretty quiet here lately, which is why I haven't added anything to this text in awhile. Yes, I am. Later that day, she decided we were NOT going north, we were going south to a beach resort. I salute those people. *smiles brightly* And apparantly delusional! *gigles* It milght have been a sugar rush 'cause now we're having a sugar crash. Another article claims that an anitseptic turned a polar bear purple, drawing large crowds of people. Well. Of course, said adults would have to peel their butt-cheeks off the couchbut they'd have to do that for the delivary man anyway. THAT IS ALL. I added to the lenghth of the LTE without even thinking! -works best on pc/laptop. Yeahthatguyyou know who I'm talking about. I think. Proud to be weird. Cheese is not a wild thing!!!!!!!!! The winner not only gets the million-dollar prize, they get the chance to produce the show they created. I don't want a full year of work. Yes, it goes on and on my friend. People need to make the time to waste time. And insanity. Because I have nothing else to do right now. I've seen it. First devised by professor William J. Rapaport in 1972, this notorious sentence plays on reduced relative clauses, different part-of-speech readings of the same word, and center embedding. longest text ever (most deleted bc max 40000 letters) : (. Instead they appear to be a nuclear armagedon in the form of a fifth grader. (*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? Now I can think. The last day, we were deciding where to eat. Here are 65 examples of long sentences ranging from the relatively brief 96 words to one of the longest sentences at 2,156 words. 11. Okay, quote is done. Sonow I am down to one and a half readers. It's pushing down on me, squishing my spine. We resumed quizzing and she got every question on the worksheet correct. Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. As you may or may not know, small children swarm the ice cream trucks. I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. There was something else I had to tell you loyal *cricket chirps, someone coughs* fans. What I liked best was the philosophy on choices. Now, correct me if I'm wrongbut Iraq? Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe eventually some weird, bored person will wander onto my site on accident and be mildly entertained be my site until they wander onto a live video feed of a coffee maker. I am now barophobic (afraid of gravity). Wooooooo! is it the word be found in the 17th, and 18th letters? See? How do you stop them? BYE!!! No matter how unlikely something is, if the universe is infinite, it's happening an infinite number of times. Never . YOU WILL NOT SINK MY CHEERIO!! Plus, I am horrible at spelling. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. And you, the potentially non-existant reader gets a once in a lifetime chance to hear me rant and rave about my Horrible, Horrible Family Vacation. That's exactly what tanning is like. I'm back again! It just sounded very professional to say it. The little counter at the bottom keeps going up? This page won't get a single hit, unless I bribe peoplenow that has possibilities. Originally from Northern Ireland, she is an artist now based in Berlin. I get done at 9:15. I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) (Like alternate dimensions and stuff) So, there is a world where you are the creator of this Longest Text Ever. If you want neat, go to some other site(though, as mentioned in Flaming Chickens Code:472 there is no such thing as a site better than this one). I must really be desperate for something to do. Why, because they assume it's better quality. Now I'm back. Right now. Should you violate this right, you will become destroyed or possibly dizzy. Nowjust stop a second and contemplate that. The World's Longest Sentence (5237 words) by Mark Virtue (1980, aged 15) Once upon a while back there was an ambitious contortionist who made up his mind he would try to conquer the twenty-seventh highest dead volcano on Neptune, with his tongue secretly hiding behind his overweight postman's Swedish Hi-Fi set and the shoelaces of his Persian . It'd be like someone thinking that scabs are atractive, 'case they protect you from disease. I now officially have proof that someone has been here! Now I have decided to go for a world record. An enemy so hideous that Moose must destroy it at all costs. That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! Was it coherent? If I had 500np with me, I'd be at-500. Fire is my frienduntil it burns me. Look how long this has gotten. Oh, guess what? Too Bad! dont you know that you only need be afraid of fear and never anything here and certainly not a post that acts like a ghost? You gots extra money, don't you? I'm back! You don't have the best life of your counterparts, but you don't have the worst either. Megan has hair. I'd probably lose money, but the concept is interesting. Except for maybe five and six. I bet it's spelled monkeys. Awwwwisn't he cute? I know where you are right now! *content sigh* There we gothat's much better. We got to go to a bar and play pool!!!!! It would make no sense. Wellbetter goI need to plan this out moreI'm back. What an eccentric idea! I definitly mistrust lots of stuff. It's not fair. THen we go to library. I just can't work up the energy to be outraged. Today, I was checking out some weird news. Maybe I should use spell-check. Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. It was as if it had been just sitting therewaiting for me to discover it. You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! I don't want to play the stupid animal war card game 'cause the stupdi bear gets eaten by an eaagle.. goodbye ssslllee0yyyyslllllllleeeeeeeepppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiissssssssssssss gggggggggoooooooooooooddddddddddddd. As you can see, I was in a very interesting state of mind. Perhaps my family is just so weird, we've lost all sense of perspective. Wow. Okay. Because I do. Today, I'm here to salute the Pointless Signs Of America! Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. I'm back. She didn't know. As we all know, the world is going to end in about 380,695 days! What? There have been several claims for the longest sentence in the English language revolving around the longest printed sentence. OkayI can do it. i hate dress shoes. Just goes to show what boredom can do to you. Those TACO buttons don't make themselves, you know. I feel like I'm playing questions only on whose line is it anway. And lots of you are probably gloating 'cause you don't have to get up 'till 8:30. So my goal changed from surviving to laughing evilly while my character died. That had nothing to do whatsoever with subliminal messagesit's just cool to say. Since I'm not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what is left of your sanity. Unless you're bored. or possibly "Who or What is Kodak". I sure am. I can work with mistrust. I fought with vegitables, covered myself in bubble wrap, groveled before the Great Banana and dodge skittles and flying doughnuts and rubber chikens. Warning* Extremely long pasta. No! Maybe I subconsiously DO know what I'm doing here, but refuse to admit it to myself. Pastebin . Especially since I'm bothering to write all this. She goes crazy if someone holds it, 'cause it's getting attention and not her. Because eventually, I'll be back! We need to act now! Once upon a time there lived a chief who liked to listen to stories. It's just weird. But I'm sure that if I just would have put my mind to it, I could have done it. It looks right. More recently, I was trying to instill a sense of empathy and niceness in her. My school system is stuck in the pastand formal attire meansa dressa white dress(for those you who never bothered to find outI am indeed female). It sucked. Maybe they're here right now! And, once again, I have proof that someone actually took the time (two hours) to read this entire Longest Text Ever!